Ok, here is the story. It all started almost 2 years ago after taking childbirth classes. My dh (darling husband) and I were driving home after one of the last sessions where postpartum depression was discussed. His response to me was "I hope you don't get that. That would just be terrible." Yes, I agree, it would not be something to wish upon any woman. However, it happens.
To me, it did. I took six months after Peanut was born to call the doctor and admit that crying 3-4 days a week is not normal and I didn't sleep worth crap when the baby did. Of course I procrastinated, I felt like a failure because I had this new overwhelming mommy job and a husband who, I felt, would see me as having the plague if I had mentioned any of this to him. Let me interject here, he is the type of guy who is extremely even-tempered. Everything is ok with him and we should all get along. (all the time, no matter what.)
By the time Peanut was a year old, the only people that knew of my depression, were my doctor and her nurse, any pharmacist at Walgreens, and my friend, Laura Ashley. I knew I could trust her for many reasons. She herself has been through many womanly issues, I have seen her at her worst, we were roommates in college, and is more knowledgeable than myself in any medical situation. Plus, I knew she would understand and not pass judgment.
So many people think depression should not even exist. Maybe you don't pray enough, or have too little faith, oh, you're just sad, you'll get over it. Yes, I had those same thoughts about myself. I am here to tell you, I prayed more during those first 6 months after delivery than I ever have. I also felt very alone.
I have heard that many people who take antidepressants may continue for the rest of their lives. Some can ween off the medication and be fine. I have tried the every other day method of weening with success. However, when I have gone 2 or more days between, I can tell a difference. Slowly, I am coming to terms with I may have to deal with this for the long haul.
With that being said, I would like to say that after much prayer and thought, I may have come across a revelation. This also happend after reading several posts for "The monster-wrangler". I see what Hope and her family are doing with foster children as following God's plan. Alright, my revelation is maybe I can reach other people who have/or currently experiencing depression through this blog. An article in "Homelife" magazine for March about Chonda Pierce was also inspiring.
Please let me know if I can help you. I will not judge you for I have been there.
May God Bless everything you touch today.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
This is a beautiful post. I myself went through a depression after my son was born. I never sought any help for it. I don't think I hid it well either. Eventually I just broke free of it.
ReplyDeleteThanks Meg! I was a little nervous about publishing this post.
ReplyDeleteI too had, see I said had, a bout with that awful word depression. But mine did not come after the birth of my child, mine came as my husband was dignosed with Parkinsons, my daughter dropped out of college, my son moved to his own house and our Pastor left the church. Oh! and did I mention my grandog have to have major surgery. All of which happen in a matter of about 4 months. All I'm saying is that there are times in our lifes as Mother's that we will all have that depression. Medication does help, so don't be afraid to ask for help. I took it for almost a year, then decided that I didn't need it anymore. It was a rough couple of weeks, but I finally made it. This may be the only time in your life that this will affect you, but I doubt it. So just be wise to when it is coming on and ask for help. sunflowerky@juno.com
ReplyDelete